How To Buy Your First Home (April Fool’s Edition)

 Tanya LaRose  0comments  01.04.2019

1. Look At Your Bank Account – If the current balance is anything but zero, you’re ready to buy.
2. Hire 7 Real Estate Agents To Help You Evaluate Homes – Why? Because 7 is lucky!
3. Compile A List Of Interesting Homes – Be sure to include acreages, condos, fixer uppers, and new builds. No buying strategy? No problem. Looking at 50+ homes is great exercise.
4. Schedule Your Showings – You want to only book your showings directly with the listings agents, never mind the agents who have been putting in several hours helping you evaluate homes.
5. Put In Your Offer – You will want to put in more than one offer, at one time, through several different agents. How else do you expect to increase your odds of getting a home?
6. Back Up Plan – If none of your low ball offers are accepted through an agent, that doesn’t matter. You can do it better yourself! Find a “For Sale By Owner” and get them to give you a lower price by offering to proceed without a home inspection.
7. Save On A Lawyer – Did your 70 year old uncle practice law 20 years ago? Perfect! You can hire him to close the sale on your home for a fraction of the price.

• DISCLAIMER: The preceding is entirely fictional and could have disastrous repercussions, please do not follow any of these steps.