How To Buy Your First Home (April Fool’s Edition)
- Look At Your Bank Account – If the current balance is anything but zero, you’re ready to buy.
- Hire 7 Real Estate Agents To Help You Evaluate Homes – Why? Because 7 is lucky!
- Compile A List Of Interesting Homes – Be sure to include acreages, condos, fixer uppers, and new builds. No buying strategy? No problem. Looking at 50+ homes is great exercise.
- Schedule Your Showings – You want to only book your showings directly with the listings agents, never mind the agents who have been putting in several hours helping you evaluate homes.
- Put In Your Offer – You will want to put in more than one offer, at one time, through several different agents. How else do you expect to increase your odds of getting a home?
- Back Up Plan – If none of your low ball offers are accepted through an agent, that doesn’t matter. You can do it better yourself! Find a “For Sale By Owner” and get them to give you a lower price by offering to proceed without a home inspection.
- Save On A Lawyer – Did your 70 year old uncle practice law 20 years ago? Perfect! You can hire him to close the sale on your home for a fraction of the price.
- DISCLAIMER: The preceding is entirely fictional and could have disastrous repercussions, please do not follow any of these steps.